hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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