the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
