dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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