You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
where are my eyebrows?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
