I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize