VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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