Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
it's like iHOP with fire
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
