how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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