I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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