Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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