i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
This is my gift to your gina
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
