so that wasnt chicken after all
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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