Can i not drive my cunt home
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
