On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
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