I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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