kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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