my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I just found a bag of teeth...
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
