I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
