Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Randomize
