I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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