My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
