how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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