If that was your dad, he is hot
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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