Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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