Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Screwed.edu
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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