it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
