If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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