youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize