I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
