So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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