Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
