He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
