We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
