just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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