I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
