you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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