I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
