i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
