I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
