Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
sarcasm needs its own font
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize