He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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