My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
