you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
