i just had sex bonerless
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
