we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Your dad touched me again.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
