who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
