I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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