I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
