he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
