At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
