I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
How many fucks given?
0.12846
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
