that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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