worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
