I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
