i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
