Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
