i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
