dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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