No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
