Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just sucked dick on a ferry
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
