so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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