I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
